PLEASE NOTE: There is a reason why people never ask me to write out recipes…
REALLY EFFING GOOD CHICKEN
By: courtney a.
HERE’S WHAT YOU NEED:
i don’t measure, and neither should you! season to taste, my love.
you want beaucoup-ish oil (olive or whatever you have on-hand), a reeeeal good smash of lemon juice (YOU NEED THIS. VINEGAR AIN’T A GOOD ACID SUBSTITUTE IN THIS CASE. NEEDS TO BE LEMON JUICE.) concentrated or fresh doesn’t matter.
couple tablespoons of dried oregano
as much pepper as you want
lots of salt, makes things taste good
fresh garlic. NOT POWDERED FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. fresh. dice it tiny. couple cloves probably; depends on how much marinade you’re making and how much you love garlic.
T-I-N-Y D-I-C-E, don’t be lazy.
you want to make enough marinade to coat the chicken evenly, but not so much that it can be mistaken for soup. i mean, honestly. if you’ve never cooked before i’m not sure why you’d start with a convoluted recipe from a junk-store radio host in new brunswick, canada but that’s your prerogative.
spin it all up together in a bowl large enough to accommodate the chicken.
you’d think i could omit such an obvious detail, but it’s 2017 and our brains are regressing*.
chuck the chicken in
marinade for minumum six hours; 24 hours is best.
DID I MENTION U NEED CHICKEN?!
U NEED CHICKEN.
using a lot of chicken? make a lot of marinade.
just two breasts or whatever (snicker)? make less.
c’est point that difficile, you guys.
i don’t know how it works for bone-in. probably fine.
– pound your chicken breasts flat(ish), at least ’til they’re thinner and relatively equal size.
– if you’re lazy or financially challenged, slicing them in half length-wise works fine. it’s actually how i usually make it. (butterflied…but sliced clean. we’re trying to achieve even thickness here.)
This tastes absolute best on the grill, but pan-fried is also amazing. on that note…
THIS IS A REALLY IMPORTANT PART.
if you have a smoke detector that goes off for the slightest thing, disable it.
you might smoke out the house.
oil your pan (preferably not olive oil; that stuff has a v low smoke point; see above.) . coat it well.
heat it on medium-high – like, 7/10. ’til the oil is obviously shimmering.
make sure that pan is searing, and cook your chicken two pieces at a time. DON’T CROWD THE PAN, YOU WANT A BEAUTY SEAR ON THIS BITCH.
let it cook. marinade n’ oil ought to be flying and giving you lil’ burns right now.
if they’re not, the pan wasn’t hot enough and you failed.
if you’re one of those people who like to flip your meat 3,000 times while cooking (giggity), DON’T DO THAT.
we’re aiming for a nice crust on ‘er.
cook for approximately three minutes. flip . cook another 3 minutes or so; when you reach the point where you’re starting to wonder if it’s cooked, remove it from the heat. DON’T YOU DARE PUNCTURE THE MEAT, LET IT FINISH COOKING IN ITS OWN JUICES.
obviously you need to adjust cooking times depending on how thick/thin your chicken is.
it should end up tasting like souvlaki chicken if you make right – if you make it wrong, though, it’ll still be ok. i promise.
*that’s my theory, based on nothing but anecdotal evidence.
NO PHOTOS, ‘CAUSE I ATE THE EVIDENCE.